Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

There’s a basic framework to NVC: observe without evaluation, feeling, need, request.
I got this on Audible a couple weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised with the quality of the book…so I bought it on kindle, too! I listened to the entire book within a day or so, and I started implementing the techniques on the first day! It made it so much easier to figure out what I really wanted out of sticky relationship situations, communicate in a way that is in line with my values, and not feel so bad if I receive venom in return (though usually these techniques nip the issues in the bud). The author’s narration is perfect. A lot of the information seems intuitive…yet it does take work! – because, sadly, many if not most of us grow up in an environment with distorted social constructs, violence, and trauma. It takes a bit of “un-learningI have read dozens of “self-help” books and other resources on psychology, mental health, and relationships. Some of these were woo-woo fluff which missed the point, others were more specific to certain types of conflicts…..really they all say the same things from different perspectives… Rosenberg’s “Nonviolent Communication: A language of life” is one of the books that stands on a shelf of its own, and one that I will surely revisit over time. The book lays things out clearly and simply (comprehensively). It’s refreshingly un-biased. It provides practical tips and examples of how to execute NVC so that everyone’s needs get met and we move toward harmony/real connection. There’s a basic framework to NVC: observe without evaluation, feeling, need, request. NVZ is hard work, but it’s a valuable skill!Nonviolent Communication is a great resource for anyone new to non-violent communication. I think this book is also an excellent “refresher” book for those Jedis out there who want to brush up on their communication skills while working on emotional intelligence and self-awareness. If you’ve ever been stuck in a victim/bully situation, co-dependency, any form of interpersonal abuse or trauma…or not – I think most if not all people can benefit from reading this book! – then you may find the information in this book to be healing and empowering (also humbling). Best wishes for your process of building a peaceful life, relationships, and personal autonomy 🙂

Please, for the sake of humanity, read this book
I first want to indicate that the five stars I am awarding this book is not because everything was perfect. There are a lot of issues I have with how the chapters are ordered, the flow of the book, etc, but the content of this book is so helpful and necessary to humans that it certainly compensates for the other faults of the book.A weirdly titled book, sure, but a necessary read nonetheless. Essentially, humans don’t do a very good job at communicating with each other. The author suspects this is due to some communication patterned that came to exist when their were kings and servants, but regardless of where it came from, it certainly exists now.Have you every felt attacked when someone said something? Have you ever reacted to a statement instead of actually contemplating it. This book is able to teach us why we act the way we do and how to better communicate our feelings, wants, and needs all in a couple sentences. When we say “I feel…” “I think…” generally these are not expressing our feelings, but rather some thought. For example, “I feel like a lazy slob today”. That isn’t a feeling. That’s an interpretation of the situation we are in through our own mental prism. What we should say is “I feel discouraged from working due to the topic of the work I am working on.” Expressing what we are feeling helps us to figure out what we really need (so that when we talk to someone for advice/help, we can more effectively obtain that assistance).The breakdown of the method is as follows: 1) Determine what we are observing; 2) Determine what we are feeling; 3) Determine what we are needing; 4) Determine what we would like to request in order to fulfill that need. If we can follow these simple steps as humans, the constant complaining and miscommunication that constantly occurs between us would dramatically decrease (not go away completely of course). Our inabilities to determine what we are actually feeling and most importantly, to express that to whoever we ware talking to (and feel relatively comfortable doing so) is what really hinders us as humans.One way to get better at communicating is to sit back and think about what we are feeling an to express that to others. Don’t just react to what someone says, but rather say what their statements/words made you feel. To advance your progress, try to get other people to express what they are feeling. Try to guess at their thoughts (if you guess wrong that is okay, they will likely correct you and lead you in the right direction). For example, if someone says to you “I can’t believe the weather person got the predictions wrong again! This is crazy!”. You could easily reply with “It sounds like you’re upset that the predictions weren’t correct.” The person might continue on and get to why they are really expressing their thoughts (perhaps because they really wanted to go for a walk with a family member that day but it had to be canceled due to the poor weather). This is all about receiving someone’s words empathically. Listening for feelings and trying to guess at them could really help you and the other person out in terms of effectively communicating with one another.Overall, this is a fantastic book. A book that I wish was mandated in schools, in businesses, etc. I promise you will pull out something useful from this book and subconsciously start employing some of the information you learned. And if you can diligently practice what it teaches, that would be even better. Words are the easiest way for people to hurt one another and to cause problems. If we can better communicate to achieve the desirable outcome for both parties involved, then that would lead to a more satisfying and happy life.

Good book but so cliche
The book came in, and I was so excited to read it but found out the cover was bent, so I immediately started having bad thoughts.Anyways, I started reading it and it was alright, but the content is so cliche that even my little sibling knows about these stuff. I thought I would actually be learning something when I kept reading and reading the same stuff over and over.Content is good, but I don’t think it’s for normal people who already know a bit on communication. I would definitely recommend this to kids aged 8-14 though because they are the hardest to communicate with.

Love this book! I’m so happy I have this in my journey.
I have not finished this book yet, but I absolutely love it. The author does an exceptional delivery and use of verbiage to make concepts relatable and the principles easy to understand. I also purchased the companion workbook (Living Non-Violent Communication).

Really helped to improve my communication skills, enrich my life and I have a strategy for solving day to day conflicts.

I’m usually hesitant about self-help books, yet find myself reading many. This might seem contradictory, but there’s a reason. The ratio of substantial content to fluff in these books is often disappointingly high, leading to my reluctance. However, the few valuable insights gained from a lengthy book can be incredibly impactful, making the read worthwhile due to their long-term benefits.’Nonviolent Communication’ excels in offering meaningful content. It provides practical advice that enriches daily personal and professional interactions. The book keeps a focus on a communication framework, while relating it a wide range of topics, including conflict resolution, negotiation, and parenting, offering actionable advice and real-life examples. I highly recommend it for its insightful and applicable guidance.

This book is clear. It is simply so well structured, with quick summaries at the end of all chapters; almost every other chapter has a “NVC in Action” at the end, also, that presents a complete exchange between persons in conflict using NVC; each chapter is divided in bite-sized sections that follow the steps in the presentation of the topic. You may find the content hard to practice, but you will get all the concepts. The sheer quantity of examples is amazing, truly betrays the experience of the author using it in real life. Whenever I felt unsure wheter I understood a concept he came with a situation that made it clear, all in a style that is very engaging and readable. If you have any interest in Non Violent Communication, do pick this one up and read. It introduces and gives firm ground in presenting the topic to anyone.